Is your most talented student a nightmare?!?
An art teacher in a Facebook group is struggling with a very disruptive middle school student who is also very talented in art. As a new teacher, she was seeking advice, and what I posted is shared below. I thought it might be helpful for others facing similar issues.
When a basic re-direction, calling out a behavior, calling home, and perhaps detention does not correct a problem, then doing more punitive measures will surely fail as well. NEVER handle these issues alone when they do not resolve or even escalate. Contact your supervisor and administration as you move forward. It is important to have a trail of communication. I suggest email because if things really get "bad," email is admissible in court should it come to that. Even if you speak 1 on 1 with an administrator, always follow up with an email recap of the conversation. Sometimes behavior that does not improve with typical approaches can be an indication of much more. (Abuse, Homelessness, Drugs, bullying, etc.)
Please see my "Classroom Management" tabs on the left for much more advice specific to the art room. If you are a new teacher, THIS BOOK, may be very helpful as well.
So here's my reply to her post:
My 30+ years would advise the following...
Pull him in a meeting with a guidance person.
Say to him something like this...
"I pulled you in here, not because you're in trouble, but to talk honestly. Maybe in a way I can't in the classroom. YOU ARE VERY TALENTED, perhaps my #1 art student if you focused on using that talent. This makes me sad to see someone with so much talent use their time to bring a class down. (Pull in some personal info so the child knows you know) I know it's just Mom at home, and I know that for some that can be really tough. Sometimes you need to step up and take charge, "be the man of the family." That takes real strength. I know you have great strength. The other students look to you, so that also means you're a leader. I would not be supposed if someday you became famous in some profession, even if it's not art... But being the man, the leader, being strong, does not mean being the bully.
(Make it personal to elicit empathy) I feel sad when you whisper mean things. It hurts inside. I am a new teacher, and I wish I had your strength, but I hope to use it to teach something I really love, like art. I also like ____, ______, ______ too, but I spent 4 years in college to teach art.
I wanted to bring you in today to see what I may be doing in class that is making you so angry at me that you say mean things and hurt other student's work? I am here to tell you I am willing to look at that and make changes. When someone acts mean, it often means that they have been hurt. So I want to make sure I am not hurting you in any way. Is there anything I can do to make our student-teacher relationship better?
(Listen time)
If there are things outside of school that are making you feel stressed out and act out of anger. Your guidance person here can help too. (Guidance person speaks)
I want us to come up with a list of things we can do to make things better in art. What can we do together to make the situation better? New seat? Time-out chair in the hall if you get angry and need to chill?
What rewards can we come up with for both of us if we can make things better or work through this and improve our class? (You get to use clay? You get some special material to play with when you finish your project well? Pizza for lunch for a month of good behavior? Fun size candy at the end of a good week?)
And if you overheat, what should we do about that, like consequences? I know suspension, and detentions are not right for you. What can we agree to do when you lose your cool? Is there an administrator or guidance person you should be sent to to talk it out? Let's come up with a plan."
<<<If none of this works, put him in a chair, at a single table, every time he acts up. His assigned seat should be right in front of your desk, no getting up till he shows he can handle it. Send him out if he disrupts the education of the class. Move to a 1 strike rule but get an admin to okay this and seek their advice moving forward. Focus on how this one child is hurting the education of others in the room. >>>
When a basic re-direction, calling out a behavior, calling home, and perhaps detention does not correct a problem, then doing more punitive measures will surely fail as well. NEVER handle these issues alone when they do not resolve or even escalate. Contact your supervisor and administration as you move forward. It is important to have a trail of communication. I suggest email because if things really get "bad," email is admissible in court should it come to that. Even if you speak 1 on 1 with an administrator, always follow up with an email recap of the conversation. Sometimes behavior that does not improve with typical approaches can be an indication of much more. (Abuse, Homelessness, Drugs, bullying, etc.)
Please see my "Classroom Management" tabs on the left for much more advice specific to the art room. If you are a new teacher, THIS BOOK, may be very helpful as well.
So here's my reply to her post:
My 30+ years would advise the following...
Pull him in a meeting with a guidance person.
Say to him something like this...
"I pulled you in here, not because you're in trouble, but to talk honestly. Maybe in a way I can't in the classroom. YOU ARE VERY TALENTED, perhaps my #1 art student if you focused on using that talent. This makes me sad to see someone with so much talent use their time to bring a class down. (Pull in some personal info so the child knows you know) I know it's just Mom at home, and I know that for some that can be really tough. Sometimes you need to step up and take charge, "be the man of the family." That takes real strength. I know you have great strength. The other students look to you, so that also means you're a leader. I would not be supposed if someday you became famous in some profession, even if it's not art... But being the man, the leader, being strong, does not mean being the bully.
(Make it personal to elicit empathy) I feel sad when you whisper mean things. It hurts inside. I am a new teacher, and I wish I had your strength, but I hope to use it to teach something I really love, like art. I also like ____, ______, ______ too, but I spent 4 years in college to teach art.
I wanted to bring you in today to see what I may be doing in class that is making you so angry at me that you say mean things and hurt other student's work? I am here to tell you I am willing to look at that and make changes. When someone acts mean, it often means that they have been hurt. So I want to make sure I am not hurting you in any way. Is there anything I can do to make our student-teacher relationship better?
(Listen time)
If there are things outside of school that are making you feel stressed out and act out of anger. Your guidance person here can help too. (Guidance person speaks)
I want us to come up with a list of things we can do to make things better in art. What can we do together to make the situation better? New seat? Time-out chair in the hall if you get angry and need to chill?
What rewards can we come up with for both of us if we can make things better or work through this and improve our class? (You get to use clay? You get some special material to play with when you finish your project well? Pizza for lunch for a month of good behavior? Fun size candy at the end of a good week?)
And if you overheat, what should we do about that, like consequences? I know suspension, and detentions are not right for you. What can we agree to do when you lose your cool? Is there an administrator or guidance person you should be sent to to talk it out? Let's come up with a plan."
<<<If none of this works, put him in a chair, at a single table, every time he acts up. His assigned seat should be right in front of your desk, no getting up till he shows he can handle it. Send him out if he disrupts the education of the class. Move to a 1 strike rule but get an admin to okay this and seek their advice moving forward. Focus on how this one child is hurting the education of others in the room. >>>
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