Make sure you follow your school’s procedures for detentions. Every school will be different.
I generally give detentions as per issues of breaking school rules. I am supposed to assign them for a student’s fourth tardy to class, if I catch them cutting class, texting on cell phones, if they plagiarize an assignment, etc. For some of these issues I “blame the boss.” I tell my student this: “I am hired by the school to enforce the rules. I may not like all the rules much myself, but that’s part of what they pay me to do. If I do not give you the detention for the fourth tardy, they can see my attendance, and they can look for the detention receipt. If there is no receipt then I am in violation of my contract and I get called to the principal’s office. Just as you have to follow the rules, I do too. There are consequences for me if I do not follow the rules. I could get fired. This is not personal. I do not think you are a bad person; it’s just that I have to assign this detention.”
This seems like an awful lot to say but it does deflate the situation. It now becomes a non-emotional issue, you have spoken to the child as an adult, you have outlined the deeper issues behind the detention, and they may understand it is not a personal issue.
The other reason I give detentions is the bullying issues or safety in the classroom. Often in these cases I speak to the student in the hallway without their peers. I give them a long “I” statement explanation of the situation and give them some options: Cool off in the office or the nurse station. Separation from the problem, a chance to apologize, or whatever else may fit the issue may be helpful. Sometimes this is enough. Sometimes it is not. The main thing is to be consistent whether the student is a “good” or “problem” child.
I generally give detentions as per issues of breaking school rules. I am supposed to assign them for a student’s fourth tardy to class, if I catch them cutting class, texting on cell phones, if they plagiarize an assignment, etc. For some of these issues I “blame the boss.” I tell my student this: “I am hired by the school to enforce the rules. I may not like all the rules much myself, but that’s part of what they pay me to do. If I do not give you the detention for the fourth tardy, they can see my attendance, and they can look for the detention receipt. If there is no receipt then I am in violation of my contract and I get called to the principal’s office. Just as you have to follow the rules, I do too. There are consequences for me if I do not follow the rules. I could get fired. This is not personal. I do not think you are a bad person; it’s just that I have to assign this detention.”
This seems like an awful lot to say but it does deflate the situation. It now becomes a non-emotional issue, you have spoken to the child as an adult, you have outlined the deeper issues behind the detention, and they may understand it is not a personal issue.
The other reason I give detentions is the bullying issues or safety in the classroom. Often in these cases I speak to the student in the hallway without their peers. I give them a long “I” statement explanation of the situation and give them some options: Cool off in the office or the nurse station. Separation from the problem, a chance to apologize, or whatever else may fit the issue may be helpful. Sometimes this is enough. Sometimes it is not. The main thing is to be consistent whether the student is a “good” or “problem” child.
RSS Feed